Confidence

I have not seen "him"" for many many years. I was so lucky to have met "him"once again. Some asked why do I want to spend my 5 weeks holiday in Miri? Well, simple - to visit my family, to spend quality time with my family, and also hoping to see "him"again.

I was in tears when I met him. I could not help it. I did that every time I meet him. I do not know why. Tears just start rolling down uncontrollably. Maybe because I was touched. I am not sure.

"He"asked if I still remember him. I nodded and replied, " I will never forget him". He then asked if he has changed? I shook my head. "He" is still the same old "him"that I knew. I was smiling although tears started rolling down my cheeks. "He"asked if I have got anything to say?I said, "No". "He"asked if I was sure, I seem to always have so much to say, so much to ask and so much to find out when he was not around. Now that "he"stand before me, I should think carefully what else to say, what else to ask, and what else to know. I hesitated for a sec and then asked him what does he think of my new job that I told him a while ago? He said I need to be confident. Only I could help myself. No one else.

Although it is clear of what "he" told me, I am still confused. I am confused because I do not really know what "confidence"means. I was warned not to be overly confident. Maybe being a typical "drama queen"I tend to complicate the matter when it is all so obvious.

I googled search the word "confidence", it says that Self-confident people are generally more positive – they believe in themselves and their abilities, and they also believe in the wonders of living life to the full. Is being positive really the key to amore confident life? Hmm... But how does one know the extent of being positive and confident? Being confident and being overly confident is only a string difference. If you’re over-confident, you may take on too much risk, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities, and crash badly. You may also find that you’re so optimistic that you don’t try hard enough to truly succeed. How do I know when to stop, before being recognise as overly confident? It is something I will have to find out and learn.

Hence, it is pretty obvious that my biggest resolution for this coming year is to be evenly confident. Not over and not under. It is a challenge. I am sure I could do it, once I understand it. I am also sure that once I have understood it, I could overcome many queries that I have had. ("pray")

Nevertheless, I am delighted to have met him after so long and I am grateful that he has been listening to me all this while. I did ot think "he" has time to entertain me but "he"did. "He"told me all about it. I am glad. :)