(pondering...)
Is it that big a deal? Is it worth risking my career? It is not exactly a risk is it? i am getting too comfortable at this place and it is not a good sign. I have dedicated my 5 years into this place and all I get is this? It is not really that big a deal, if I don't hold on to it.
However, if I let it go this time, will it happen again? Will the same situation be repeated? It probably will. Maybe it is not such a bad idea to start looking for options for rainy day.
(pondering...)
I am still questioning myself - can I do this? People around me have lots of faith in me. I am not that stress out this time, I do not know why. I should be worry, stress and all but I am feeling quite okay. In some way, I was actually carefree. Am I consciously convincing myself that I could do it? Again, like i said, things need to be looking at a little more differently.
(pondering....)
It is strange that one lives one's life for many years and suddenly that other person could ruin it.
A routine has been delivered for many years and the other person came along and ruined all of it. All of the sudden, what one could do in the past become an obstacle. Why? How come that other person could be so influential?
Could one go back to one's "usual" life? "Life goes on", "Time will heal", all these sayings, are they practical? Probably....
(pondering....)
My song for tonight - "Je ne vous oblie pas" by Celine Dion. (smile)
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